we are lost till we are found this phoenix rises up from the ground and all these wars are over can you hear the dolphin's cry.
perfection at 4:43 PM
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Monday, August 28, 2006
a tune to the words. a melody to the lyrics. finally a song from my heart.
interesting thought of the day. we all fear consequence. its what drives us to do things. its what instigates us to make the decisions we make.
we were sitting at our usual spot. this time with homework on our laps. but we digressed much again. i started questioning meaning. what for what for what for. sometimes it seems so much easier. to live an island. without having to tend to maintenance. but its so funny how the world functions. or rather how the world has been known to function.
i love you dad. i love you mom. i love you kid. but thoughts are invisible.
a precious gem is what you are you're mommy's bright and shining star you're the end of the rainbow, a pot of gold you're daddy's little girl to have and hold.
perfection at 3:14 PM
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Saturday, August 26, 2006
now its 0448 on a saturday morning. now i'm starting to feel the pain. it didnt hurt this much. why.
what is this. i thought i already felt everything possible. everything anyone could ever feel. what is this feeling. i dont know. and to top things off. i cant explain it. why.
a word. its interesting how we form images and associations when we hear or read one. definition, experience, impression. all affect the way we think and feel about a word. play upon these factors. the power of apt language. why.
long unhurried walks in the breeze. admiring the lights in the night. appreciating the light beside me. why.
my favourite picture. is one which is of a sunset. beauty that marks the end of a day. then comes the winter breeze. why.
its in my nature to question. "why"; a compelling word. after i find the answer. everything else just falls into place.
you left me here to count ten thousand questions to the answers i never found now i dance alone on the floor you made of ten thousand answers that never came.
perfection at 8:02 PM
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily
We drive tonight And you are by my side We're talking about our lives Like we've known each other forever The time flies by With the sound of your voice Its close to paradise With the end surely near
And if I could only stop the car And hold onto you And never let go I'll never let go
As we round the corner to your house You turned to me and said I'll be going through withdrawal of you For this one night we have spent And I want to speak these words But I guess I'll just bite my tongue And accept "someday, somehow" As the words that we'll hang from
And I I dont wanna speak these words Cause I I dont wanna make things any worse
Why does tonight have to end Why dont we hit restart And pause it at our favourite parts We'll skip the goodbyes If I had it my way I'd turn the car around and run away Just you and I
And I I dont wanna speak these words Cause I I dont wanna make things And I I dont wanna make things any worse.
perfection at 3:00 PM
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i guess i wont be asleep tonight.
everything else is but a game. whether you win or lose. will lie entirely in your hands. how you place your pawns and deal your cards. equally crucial. start with an end in mind. the fun lies in the rest of the journey.
well maybe. maybe not.
we condition with. we're conditioned through. repetition.
normally i dont use lyrics from the same song twice in a row. but somehow i just felt the need to.
i guess you wont be calling tonight.
if you need a hand to hold i promise you i will find you through it all and comfort you if you should lose your way.
perfection at 11:42 AM
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Monday, August 21, 2006
i hate dishonesty. i hate this honesty. the epitomy of contradiction. i know who.
not every question requires an explanation. not every why needs a because. i dont agree with this. but somehow somewhere. some part within me agrees with it.
the freaky thing is that. when i customised this blogskin. which was about 3 years ago. i never meant anything by using the words "my irony", "my paradox" and "my contradiction" in my tagboard space. i guess maybe i knew all along. subconsciously, aware.
Your will above all else. my purpose remains. the art of losing myself. in bringing You praise. everlasting. Your light will shine when all else fades. and the cry of my heart. is to bring You praise from the inside out.
please look for me. if i should lose my way.
if i should lose my way along this road we share please look for me come what may if i should lose my way.
perfection at 4:50 PM
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Saturday, August 19, 2006
i know the thoughts in my head. but i can neither verbalise it. nor put it in words on paper. it might come out as "oiS*JU89kQ#eps21L@kls". decode it, someone.
i just realised that my room. is so not personalised. it doesnt say anything about my personality or the things i love. except that neon rock sign.
nothing left to say. like i said. i cant put my thoughts into words. just for tonight. leave it alone.
i am a dreamer but when i wake you cant break my spirit its my dreams you take.
perfection at 3:29 PM
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Friday, August 18, 2006
i cant imagine you. being as devastated as you were. maybe this is how it ends.
dont let past possibilities and future expectations cloud what you know you can achieve.
thank you for the both of you. yall made school so much more bearable. only when you go all out. will people come all in.
relationships are like waves. different wavelengths represent different interactions. but what matters most right now. is how dissipative some of these waves are compared to others.
this untackled irony. left to the consequence of progression. how circumstances toy with situations. dictating your every emotion. plus the inability to break free. just because it means the world. but hurry and reverse this. i feel my walls coming up again.
i cant imagine you. being as devastated as you were. maybe what we had was never real.
what have i done you seem to move on easy at night i pray that soon your face will fade away.
perfection at 5:03 PM
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006
it is true. she knows what will happen. its all been said and done before. it'll start by saying "you've changed". how many times has she heard that line. in that three and a half.
you hold tight to your tomorrow. cause there's no one here except yourself. i did not come to beg or borrow. were you expecting someone else?
every single time she attempts. it opens up an archery range. susceptible, vulnerable, running the risk. of getting shot right through the heart. and even though she knows. her archer rarely ever misses the bullseye. she never stops taking a chance. she never gives up trying for salvation.
is she starting up from square one. is she back where the gunshot's heard. a substitution all along i see. well then i guess. the day she stops hurting. is the day she stops caring. altogether.
born without a heart defect i am a father's son one day i will be here the next i'll be gone.
perfection at 5:01 PM
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Monday, August 14, 2006
roarness. i need to get my productivity engine started. well it aint all that difficult to pass off. but its definitely hard to be one true convert. help, was it right?
tennis now on ch22. venus williams vs kim clijsters. intense.
my favourite song from the carpenters. "This Masquerade". they're a legend but a pity.
twohill just injected emo into mainstream. whats up with that. it used to be such an underground genre. even dashboard and taking back sunday. they're all coming out into the light. i know jael's devastated.
are we really happy with this lonely game we play looking for the right words to say searching but not finding understanding anyway we're lost in this masquerade.
perfection at 4:28 PM
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Sunday, August 13, 2006
how about a brand name. pony&frog. P&R. R is for frog. according to jael.
laughed at that for a whole five minutes. how's that for a joke.
stix is coming home. after two long weeks. been far away for far too long.
listen to the rhythm of the falling rain telling me just what a fool i've been i wish that it would go and let me cry in vain and let me be alone again.
perfection at 12:49 PM
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006
european expatriates are the most polite. also the most friendly and the most courteous. they always smile when they walk past. never fails to brighten up my day. or night (:
on the other hand. i shant comment too much on those species who dont have the word "appreciation" in their dictionary. moving on.
i didnt eat anything the whole day. and i only found that out at nine in the night.
is power really everything. does nothing else besides that prove superior. isnt there anything to be proud of anymore.
i need to find a funky tie shop !
i thought i lost you somewhere but you were never really ever there at all and i'm not holding on and all your lies werent enough to to keep me here.
perfection at 3:11 PM
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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
jason mraz - you and i both.
was it you who spoke the words. that things would happen but not to me. all things are gonna happen naturally. taking your advice and i'm looking on the bright side. and balancing the whole thing.
but at often times those words get tangled up in lines. and the bright light turns to night. oh until the dawn it brings. a little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me.
cause you and i both loved. what you and i spoke of. and others just read of. others only read of the love.
see i'm all about them words. over numbers, unencumbered numbered words. hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words. more words than i have ever heard. and i feel so alive.
cause you and i both loved. what you and i spoke of. and others just read of. and if you could see me now.
and its okay if you had to go away. oh just remember the telephones. well they're working in both ways. but if i never, ever hear them ring. if nothing else, i think the bells inside. have finally found you someone else. and thats okay cause i'll remember everything you say.
cause you and i both loved. what you and i spoke of. and others just read of. and if you could see me now. well then i'm almost finally out of. i'm finally out of. finally de de de de de de de de. well i'm almost finally, finally out of words.
performing for national day tmr. hooray.
perfection at 12:33 PM
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Monday, August 07, 2006
finally an improved internet connection. hopefully it wont fail me.
over the sea and far away. she's waiting like an iceberg. waiting to change. but she's cold inside. she wants to be just like water.
now i'm the one confused. by the silliest things in the world. just like when a little girl. finds out barney the dinosaur was never real. that he was only a figure of imagination. just a man in a suit saying "we're a happy family". she'd be confused, yet devastated. to know that all she believed in has crumbled to nothing. silly, but crushing.
maybe you're just like the rest. maybe i should've known you're just like the rest. susceptible, fluctuating, influenced.
i never really thought of looking at things through the eyes of a person whose emotion overules logic. it is different, intriguing. a perspective i'd like to delve into.
but its too hard to say i wish it were simple but we give up easily you're close enough to see that you're on the other side of the world to me.
perfection at 5:59 AM
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Saturday, August 05, 2006
the best things about working at a cosy italian restaurant owned by your dad's good friend. you get to wear whatever you want. you get sheltered from mistakes. you get to bully the hot chefs. you get free food like cheesecake and lobster pasta. you get free dessert because the chefs are naughty and steal you chocolate lava cakes. you get to see a frozen baby pig (eewness). you get to spend quality time with your brother. you get to collude with your brother and the chefs to make fun of the boss. and the best thing is you get paid for all this.
oh and i got praised for my handwriting again (:
my knees are dying more than ever now. after that stupid fall. i need my sjab-er ! someone please gimme a knee transplant. so i can run again. so i can play badminton again. so i can be as fit as i used to be. i spoilt my unbroken record of 30points for NAPFA by getting excused from it totally. please understand my trauma. i really need a new knee.
stop saying i'm slacking during pe. stop saying i'm slacking during training. you really think i want to? seriously, i'm insulted. gimme your good knee. then see what i'm capable of. i'm just making the best of what i have now alright.
fiction and faketion. just what the mind's conjured.
i want anything but you to come close dont wanna be struggling dont wanna be salvaging this way's just good, good enough for me.
perfection at 4:04 PM
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Wednesday, August 02, 2006
found out a truth today. a truth i knew all along. but was distorted along the way. with his facades and escapades.
i blame my practicality. i blame my insensitivity. i blame my stereotyped. and now i tear my barrier apart.
still doesnt mean what he chose to do was right. i know what it means to want to protect. i understand what it must take. to shun from all the pain the world has to inflict. and the easiest escape is to run to a masquerade. but please choose not to hide this vulnerability. i, too, am still conquering, still overcoming. thats how we deal with it.
i have learnt something. and i wont be sentenced with a second offence. because i know what He did. and why He did it.
such a heart that will lead you to deceiving all the pain held in your hands are shaking cold.
perfection at 9:53 AM
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Tuesday, August 01, 2006
just to clarify one point. i havent been this hostile in a LONG while. just ask anyone who's known me for a LONG time. and the ONLY other person i've been so hostile to before is my younger brother. that was when i was in primary four. now what does that say.
and i dont pick fights. if anyone realised, it always starts with his insults. oh and i think most can see. i choose to ignore him ninety percent of the time. i try my best to avoid the situation in which i have to speak up and retaliate. just because he ends up speechless at the end of our verbal exchange doesnt make him the victim please.
i respect those who argue intelligently. i scoff those who argue for the sake of argueing. i accept reason. i dont tolerate nonsense.
but honestly speaking. does it give you a rush when you belittle. does it give you a thrill when you look down upon. if they both give you a kind of high, then all i can say is you're seriously sick man.
oh yea by the way. thats not how you get the desired attention.
for a second i wish the tide will swallow every inch of the city as you gasp for air tonight.
perfection at 12:43 PM
theJOURNEY.
theTUNES.
what sing you.
theMUSICIAN.
dania
st nicks
anderson
nus
trinity christian centre
